This Is Your Risk

Mom,,
the real risk when you get a friendship with a popular girl will did some thing like this.

Confused Edition

Mom,,
when i look someone and i interested from the fist time i looked. i always say to my self that he will be mine. and i don't know why i got a feeling like that to odonk. so when he looks somebody else, i got a jealous.



Mom,,
but i know that i like someone else, someone who is not odonk. but i don't want him lost from my hand, althought he is not in my hand. it is so selfish right.

Mom,,
im so greedy, when i want odonk and androgen, i have a close relation (but just frends) with odonk close friend (java and santri), and i know that androgen knows about this people, because one of them (java) is on same organisation with androgen. the semi-autonomous institution (sai) which i liked most.

Mom,,
the most thing i like from them is their(androgen, odonk, java) ability on player football, like the one who i never forget until now. but he is nothing from me right now, thought he always be a greatest man in my life. but he is not a man in my life right now, he just still in my mind and always be there.

Mom,,
remember the past make me get a melankolist side of me. and i look so mushy, i don't like look like that. so weak, i don't like it. i love my image when i look like mysterious girl, unpredictable, and nobody know how is the real me. make me have manything for my self. but, who know how the real me? i tink i don't know too, haha.

Open My Assumption

Mom,,
he (odonk) write in his account on social media that he wanted to say love into someone who i don't know. i know that is not for me, because i and him not in spesifict relation which show me a thing like that way.

Mom,,
i like somebody else (androgen) , but i don't want he walk a way into me. i want he beside me until im sure that androgen will not walk on a same way with me.

Mom,,
im not a nice girl right? i feel so bad when i said like that. want someone still beside me when im thinking about somebody else. im bad girl rigth?

Mom,,
im still do something like this since i was on junior high school until now. im not doing the righ thing yet. but i have decided that i will accept nobody before im sure that i will walk in same way with androgen, but im still accept everybody (boys and girls exactly) to be my good friends. good friends and more, hahah.. that wich make me look bad right?

Mom,,
my close friend (stonehead) said that she looks that im a bad girl when i do that. got a good boy to be my close friends, did and said a nice thing, and she said im very very look bad when i did a frontal thing in front of boys. she said i knew that the boys liked me, but i always looked like a give many "empty box" for their, uuh so bad rigth.

Mom,,
when i will be a good girl? i will be a good girl in front of my husband latter right, haha. but, don't judge me bad ah, i got it from my familly (???). i think every member in my familly ever do something like me, but some part like me? i don't know, who know everything in their life just their self and Alloh, im not always know the real thing, just assumption. a popular girl or boy in her life, many assumption can come from their.

Mom,,
every part which make me confused have i open in here right now. just open and learn, open and learn, learn learn learn. 
stop . . . . . . .stop . . . .
time to study something else..

kawan

Kawan,,

aku lelah berasumsi,, bisa kah kau ceritakan padakau apa masalahmu? bisakah kau gambarkan apa salahku? haruskah aku berhenti jadi temanmu, agar kau puas dan tak perlu sungkan membicarakan betapa buruknya aku di depan teman-temanmu.

kenapa kau mau jadi temanku kalau kau memang menganggap aku tak pantas berteman denganmu? kenapa kau masih disisiku kalo memang kau tak nyaman denganku? kenapa kau tak pergi menjauh sehingga aku tak perlu bertanya apa kau baik-baik saja bersamaku? atau kau menunggu ku menjauh sehingga bisa menyalahkan kepergianku yang lebih dulu meninggalkanmu?

kalau kau tak suka terlihat buruk didepan orang lain, aku bisa melakukan itu untukmu, karena kau temanku. bukan kah kita tak punya alasan untuk tidak melakukan yang terbaik untuk teman yang baik. selama kau memang temanku, aku tak memegang alasan untuk meninggalkanmu

teman..

taukah kamu, untukku teman itu adalah selamanya, bagaimanapun kamu dimata orang lain, di mataku selama kamu adalah teman ku, kamu akan selalu jadi orang baik. tak peduli orang bilang apa tentangmu, tau kah kamu bahwa aku akan menutup telingaku dan bernyanyi "your my best friend forever".

jadi,, katakan bahwa kau temanku, maka semua berakhir.

tapi saat kau katakan aku bukan temanmu, maka berterima kasihlah padaku, karena aku akan membawa pergi lukaku dan prasangka semua orang tentang kita menjauh darimu, sehingga mereka hanya akan melihat aku meninggalkanmu, meninggalkan temanku.